"President" George W. Bush endorses NHIV:
NHIV are the best! Without these guys, and without my buddies
Murdoch and Fairfax, I could never have gained support for my ill-conceived
extremist policies. But ahh, they were so right when they assured
me that voters could be scared into supporting just about any act
of xenophobic aggression. In fact, in a few weeks I'm planning
to
whip up another scare campaign so I can nuke Iceland. I think I'll
say something like: "We cannot afford to remain passive, while
terrorist aggressors hoard weapons of mass destruction, etc. etc.",
that line always works a treat… |
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NHIV helped me understand that propaganda is a weapon
of war. It doesn't blow up innocent children in the same direct and effective
way that bombs do, but it is a powerful weapon nonetheless, and one that
could allow you to blow up several schoolyards of children with complete
impunity. It was NHIV who encouraged me to point this weapon at my own
country, and let rip! Once the facts on Iraq had been lost inside a mess
of conflicting stories, (and once my generals had popped a cap into any
journalists who weren't toeing the line…) there was only one thing
left for the American people to say - trust the president (that's ME,
folks!). Hell, half the country thinks that Saddam Hussein was involved
in 9/11 - and guess what, I'm not about to go on TV and set the record
straight, heheh…
The gun and the bible carved the American nation out of the wilderness. I sure
do love guns and bibles - I even have a hollowed-out bible with a gun inside,
which I like to take to church, and on the side of my gun it says, "an eye
for an eye, a tooth for a tooth", which is my favourite Clint Eastwood quote.
But one of my advisors told me I have to stop shooting people at random, so I
sent him to Guantanamo Bay, bloody terrorist…and besides, it's not random,
I only use the real bullets on arabs, hippies and French people.
Since I was "elected" president, I have enjoyed wonderful new opportunities
to emulate my heroes of history, such as Reagan, Hitler, and Emperor Caligula,
and Mr. Rumsfeld even said I could make my pet horse a member of congress if
I want to! And for that I thank NHIV, whose musical inspiration has helped me
turn reality on its head. Americans are now applauding war crimes, believing
even the most obvious lies, and American contempt for foreigners has reached
unprecedented heights. It's all about winning hearts and minds.
As NHIV pointed out to me, terrorism is also really cool because it means I can
respond with "counter-terrorism", which is apparently just like regular
terrorism but legal(!) So like NHIV, I always fight terror with terror, and that
way I'll never run out of terror to fight, or the fear needed to fuel my Emperorship.
Besides, I'm the President of the fucking World, and I can do whatever the fuck
I like, so UP YOUR ASS!!
You see, I don't know a whole lot about world politics and stuff, but I do know
two things:
1. guns can fix everything!
2. er… better make that just one thing…..
Humbly, your eternal overlord,
DUBYA
