BLANK ALERT:
Two Years On, "President" claims major progress in "War Of Terror"

US "President" Dubya Bush today announced that two years after the September 11 attacks by terrorist extremists, the "War Of Terror" was going extremely well. "Two years ago I told you we would fight a War Of Terror, and, to the people of Afghanistan and more recently Iraq, we have truly succeeded in that mission. In the explosive streets of Baghdad, in the druglorded streets of Afghantistan - even in the apparent stronghold of the United Nations - we have brought a terrorist terror of terrifying proportions. A terror that, only by being magnified to the size of entire countries, can be dealt with successfully by military means."

When a journalist (later sacked for unrelated reasons) pointed out that Bush had previously referred to the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq as part of the "War ON Terror", Bush was typically dismissive.

"Oh that was just one of my silly slip-ups! I'm making them all the time. I mean, 'War On Terror'?", Bush laughed. "It doesn't even mean anything. You might as well have a War on Common Sense!"

Bush chief strategist Karl Rove responded enthusiastically to the comments. "I think a War on Common Sense is certainly something we'll be wanting to look at very closely in the run up to the 2004 election."