Opinion

THE DOCTRINE OF PRE-EMPTION

By the deputy secretary of massacre defense,
Paul "We should have invaded Iraq decades ago" Wolfowitz

This doctrine hereby asserts that in light of new terrorist threats that apparently didn't exist before September 11 2001, the government of the United States of America is the undisputed ruler of the entirety of planet Earth, and is at complete liberty to do whatever it sees fit with the resources of the aforementioned planet, to stand over the world community as an unappointed judge, jury and executioner, and to bribe, villify or murder any and all individuals and countries that pose an obstacle to Earth(U.S.) government plans. The consequent abusive application of economic and military power is to be rationalised, as a token gesture to believers in democracy, by the re-definition of any such obstacle as an "imminent terrorist threat" that America cannot afford to tolerate.

The government of the United States of Earth reserve the right to define the term "terrorist" to reflect any stance that may be in contrast to the policy of the government of the United States of Earth, or any other subsidiary governments of the Exxon / Mobil / K.A.O.S. syndicate, or the unquestionable will of the almighty and most righteous Overlord Bush, who is our ultimate master for eternity, chosen of God, long may we praise his prudent judgement in world affairs, and persecute those who do anything less than demonstrate their blind loyalty to the uber-president, and faith in his morality, even though he executed a fuck of a lot of people as governor of Texas.

All existing and future international organisations that would presume to offer a political voice to countries that are not America on issues such as world environmental crises, human rights, economic development, or indeed the legality of engaging in pre-emptive conflict, are to be rendered insignificant by the non-cooperation of the government of the United States of Earth, who will, in the end, always get their way, or else.