Saddam Hussein may be captured, but US forces have been disturbed by the continuing waves of violence continuing to sweep the occupied nation. Although his capture would clearly have silenced the 'Saddam loyalists', the blame has turned to a new source - Saddam clones.

"We've always known he had a lot of doubles," said Defence Secretary Donald 'Never liked Saddam - well, OK, maybe just once' Rumsfeld. "I mean, it's just the sort of evil thing he'd do. What we didn't realise was a) that they were what appear to be actual biological clones, and b) that when he got captured, the doubles had nowhere to go, nothing to do. So it seems they've come out of their own private 'spider holes' and are plotting together in their secret underground bunker somewhere.

"Just think of it, all those evil Saddam Hussein minds working together, the amount of concentrated evil in Iraq must be staggering, Any time now, they could unleash the mother of all evil plots upon an unsuspecting world, and frankly, this is a threat to the safety of the American people. Did you know that Saddam's DNA is so toxic with evil, that small children and puppies disintegrate on contact with it? He may look like an old man down a hole, but make no mistake, Saddam is the real Weapon of Mass Destruction!"

Counter-counter-terrorist organisation New Horizons In Violence, who have had known associations with Saddam clones in the past, have been said to have provided the insurgency with a stirring anthem, Fight Terror With Terror. The new track, recently released on their web site, advocates a technique of pre-emptive strikes based on the US model, and it's been suggested that these ordinarily harmless freaks have been incensed to embrace the creed with gusto.

Rumsfeld assured us that when the Saddam clones were defeated, then the violence would stop. "We've got to find and kill every last clone, of that there's no doubt. But first we've got to find the lab where Saddam's been manufacturing these clones. I mean, we've been interrogating him, but he's continuing to insist that this lab is just an invention of Americans. It's just like when we ask him about those pesky WMDs."

The clones have apparently gone through a difficult period recently, having to shave their recently grown beards, which some were becoming quite attached to. It is thought that some have suffered severe facial hair trauma, and that has caused their more recent erratic behaviour.

They are evil freaks. Very unpredictable you know.