Terrorist supergroup New Horizons In Violence today announced that the Guiness Book of Records was compiled by a load of drunks. That's their conclusion after being invited to accept their listing in the book for their recent track U.S. Under-Secretary Of Defence For Policy Douglas Feith Refuses To Answer Questions About Civilian Deaths November 2003 in E flat. The title, which is between 20 and 22 words long depending on who's counting, easily eclipses the previous record Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict.

Accepting the honour, N.H.I.V. mouthpieces explained the title had been a mixed blessing. "Well the Guiness Thing has been great," admitted George Dubya Pussy. "Just like old times as far as I was concerned. But radio play's been very hard to come by. DJs just refuse to back-announce. And we are finding it's not the sort of thing people just accidentally type into search engines."

N.H.I.V. used the occassion to drunkenly launch the Online War On Terror Forum at nhiv.com. The site advertises it as "like the U.N. Security Council at Warp Speed" but in fact the forum has started off sluggishly. N.H.I.V. evil mastermind Saddama bin Laden blames Pussy.

"That lazy do-nothing son-of-a-bitch scumbag was supposed to post last month, but he decided to take a month off to his ranch instead! In the meantime Iraq has gone to hell and I've been stuck in this cell with no access to the Internet!"

In spite of the inauspicious start to the N.H.I.V. forum it has already attracted posts from luminaries such as John Howard, Richard Perle and even George W. Bush himself. "Sure the neo-con arseholes can try all they like to influence our politic!" foamed Saddama. "But we remain committed to mass destruction, with or without the relevent weapons."

Previous holders of the title title Pink Floyd considered defending it but were unable to remain in the same room together for long enough to compose a title.